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Merit Or Mom?

Merit Or Mom?

December 09, 2019

Mom's have one of the greatest influences on their children, both for the good and the not so good. We can teach them, love them and give them support in all they do.  What happens when our mother influence takes over? What am I talking about? I am going to let you in on a conversation I was having with an acquaintance a few weeks ago and thought it might make for a good conversation topic. 

Let us start by setting up the situation. My friends daughter plays softball. She has been playing nonstop for about seven or eight years. She trains with a personal trainer, has participated in many workshops, never misses practices, and gives her all. This year, she was invited to tryout for the top team in their league. Teammates and coaches alike told her daughter she was THE top contender for a spot on the team. 

Fast forward to the roster being posted, her daughter was once again put on the second string team. Frustrated and feeling defeated, my friends daughter took her spot on the second string team. As the players parents met for a team meeting, it was overheard that the mother of the girl who made the top team, had gone to the coach and told him that unless her daughter was put on that first string team she would no longer endorse nor participate in the league. Apparently, it worked. What do you think of this situation? 

I am wondering how it will affect this child in the future. Are we teaching our children that hard work and merit will help them achieve success or are we saying, "Hey, moms influence will get me what I want." As parents, my husband and I have talked to our children about working hard and always doing your best. I asked my children a while ago if they wanted me to be the type of mom who tries to "influence" others' decisions on their behalf and to quote one of them, "I'd rather earn something by my own hard work than know I only got it through you." This was the crowning jewel. I must have done something right. (wink wink) Disappointment is part of growing up, we all go through it. Letting children experience those painful feeling of not getting what they want all the time gives them the opportunity to tolerate discomfort. Providing guidance and support to deal with the let down will help them gain confidence in their own ability to to handle hardships. Yes, its heartbreaking as a parent to see your children feel defeated and discouraged but we need to give them courage to keep trying. 

Having a positive influence on our children will make for stronger, reliable, happy adults. I ran across a blog about happy families and this list was pretty spot on. Be that parent who teaches and supports. Lets make sure our priorities are  reflecting the things we value most, so that we can give our children strength to live a meaningful, positive life.

What is your opinion on mother influence? 

 

Love Much,

Heather 



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